#everything is a process
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There were silver spoons growing up, but I only got to polish them, then watch my family use them. Promises glazed in emptiness, blended with razors and glass atop a spork made of fool's gold. Traded in for bamboo and abalone on my own time. Jealous there were quarters instead of dimes for mine.
Finished throwing pipe bombs along bridges last week. Cast off, no lines, no trails, no roads. Free. First, they hate, then belittle, then copy, then fade. Watching from afar while fear creeps in, as hit by hit - blow by blow - each met with a growing smile. Masochistic tendencies learned in battle.
Sent death and famine; we sat playing rummy until dawn speaking of and to one another in hushed tones of reverence and understanding.
Sent devils to one who sees past the horns. Birthed of the same light; recognized and known. The ones who keep some safe at night, a place in which light can't abide. Where angels slay and demons play, and mirror one another. Light and shadow have the same home, hand in hand, together.
Threw caution to the wind but couldn't keep noses clean. Hands felt clammy and sticky. Some perceived power or greed? Something unfelt and unseen? Like a leech striking out blind in the wood. What is wished on others is what will be celebrated or endured.
We do not have to be saints to house a heart that is pure.
#feralchaton#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#words#mots#palabras#trust the process#healing is a process#writing is a process#everything is a process#writing#writers write#usually#sigh#keep going#it has to get out to 'get out'
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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They really gave us everything though: old gay dads, cool straight (?) couple, badass lesbians, gay (temporary) rivals
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bonus: jayvik together for eternity
I would be beaming from ear to ear if I wasn't so depressed about arcane being over for good
#and took it away later yeah#just so many moments to properly process that it will probably take weeks to digest everything#silco x vander#vander x silco#arcane silco#vander arcane#vander and silco#ekkojinx#ekko x jinx#jinx x ekko#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#jinx#caitvi#caitlyn x vi#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#jayvik#arcane jayvik#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#timebomb#zaundads
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one tells only truth the other also only truth they're really nice
#polly art !!#everything i've finished recently has been paintings i wanted to do something simpler. flex my old linocut muscles#this is 100 percent digital i just thought through the process as if i was carving#sphinx#mythology#fantasy
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I just wanted to draw something cute 🥹
#my art#ansuran#baldur's gate 3#btw if anyones curious about my art process it goes something like this:#step 1: lovingly render hands#step 2: quickly slap some colors on everything else
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Not to preach to the choir but I wonder if people generally realize that AI models like ChatGPT aren't, like, sifting through documented information when you ask it particular questions. If you ask it a question, it's not sifting through relevant documentation to find your answer, it is using an intensely inefficient method of guesswork that has just gone through so many repeated cycles that it usually, sometimes, can say the right thing when prompted. It is effectively a program that simulates monkeys on a typewriter at a mass scale until it finds sets of words that the user says "yes, that's right" to enough times. I feel like if it was explained in this less flattering way to investors it wouldn't be nearly as funded as it is lmao. It is objectively an extremely impressive technology given what it has managed to accomplish with such a roundabout and brain-dead method of getting there, but it's also a roundabout, brain-dead method of getting there. It is inefficient, pure and simple.
#the notes on this post are about to get sooooo annoying#this doesnt touch on the fact that AI is stealing artist's jobs which i think is the real biggest harm of AI#but like#god#just take a minute and think about how stupid the current use-cases for AI are when you consider how it gets to those conclusions#this guesswork has its place in fields where guesswork is necessary like when screening for potential health issues in the medical field#but the benefit of the medical field is that when you get a false positive you can just do further testing to confirm the initial reading#that's called a second opinion and it is how the medical field is structured fundamentally#if you screen someone for cancer and it comes out positive#but it turns out they didnt really have cancer#that's fine! that's good news and it's good that you were at least wary of it!#but so many other applications for AI do not have this leeway where incorrect answers have further reaching consequences#and more importantly AI isn't stealing the fucking jobs of doctors!!!#although jesus i really wish doctors would stop using AI to take notes for patients#yes please lets give all my personal medical info to a big machine that stores and processes literally everything it hears#im sure there would never be far reaching consequences if that machine ever had a data breach#blah
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So THAT'S where he is!
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#kris dreemurr#frisk#lesslo#but how the hell did he even get there???#oh who am I kidding?#it's flowey#he always finds a way#but now the truth is out#Frisk can't deny it any longer#though Kris might take a moment to process everything that's unfolding right now
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sunday nights are for reflecting on your entire life and the fragile state of your present moment and what the future may look like
#feel like the past few months have been so busy and overwhelming so ive been too busy to fully reflect and process them#and it all just hit me in the space of an hour like relationships and situations and everything#had a little cry but i'm okay i'm hopeful and embracing whatever things will look like#holding onto myself and my passions and my love and my light#diary#tiyas thoughts
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#limitless#quotes#affirmtions#truths#spilled ink#spilled truths#angelic messages#healing#love#everything is a process#trust the process#trust yourself
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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i've said it before and i will say it again, i genuinely believe that one of the best ways to practice drawing is by doodling on some cheap paper with a cheap pen. nothing to be precious about, you can't undo what you've drawn, if you drew it wrong the first time draw it fifteen times until you get it right. a lot of people are scared of their art looking bad but art looking bad is an unavoidable part of the process. you don't have to show anyone but yourself and you can try again as many times as you want!
#something I find happening a lot to me lately bc I don't have much opportunity to Draw#is that the sketches just do Not want to cooperate when i pick up my pen for the first time in a while#and it's really frustrsting and feels like my skill is gone forever. ive hit the wall#and then the next day everything is smooth and friendly again#u just gotta accept the bad ugly doodles as part of The Process
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sunset earlier with mohamed playing cigarettes after sex on the rooftop, journaling and drinking tea
#i haven't really had a second to process anything until this moment#something about unexpectedly hearing cigarettes after sex with this view and in this place just made me feel everything#j.archive
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y’know what? fuck you. *UNGRAYSCALES YOUR ISATS*
no wait come back there’s greyscale versions under the cut :(
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#odile more like. oteal. gottem#anyways color headcanons!!! these’ve been brewing in my head for a little while#especially euphrasie. i genuinely didn’t process everything being in greyscale until after she was introduced#my color headcanon for her was so engrained within me that i didn’t realize she wasn’t colored#everyone else came pretty easily. except for odile#i don’t really see her wearing like. saturated colors?#i just defaulted to teal because i like tinting black hair teal#her purple-ish shirt was supposed to be like. a subtle hint to her being half vaugardian#since all of my vauguardians have warmer color palettes#but idrk how well that translates. oh well!#im like 90% sure i chose purple for mira because of plums. even though mirabelle plums aren’t purple#but by the time i realized that her colors were set in stone in my brain#i’d go on about design details for the others but these tags are already outrageously long as is#so uh. oops. can you tell i like talking about character design
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pathologic 3 announcement made me return to the classic game and finally play it properly! i think my favorite part of the bachelor's route is when he talks to maria kaina (or whoever's in her body at the time) and they explain that their planned Utopia isn’t even supposed to be a 'perfect' place but instead 'the mystical manifestation of a world inscrutable and inaccessible to men' going back to the original meaning of the word irl and instead of despairing Daniil fervently agrees that this kind of unimaginable leap is worth it, no matter where it actually leads
#pathologic#the bachelor#daniil dankovsky#andrey stamatin#peter stamatin#maria kaina#nina kaina#recent interview with dybowski made me kind of apprehensive#because i love the idea of an emotional state as a fundamental game mechanic for the bachelor but#he was very focused on the idea of following the 'teacher' in Simon and in the process learning everything he was meant to learn#despite never really 'catching' the dead guy in his time loops#i feel that the head of the studio is just projecting again#and in a way that old version of the bachelor made back when he was a student in his twenties#could end up seeming more compelling in the end#but we'll SEE#i am still wildly hopeful and hype#my artwork#ALSO anybody who likes the bachelor and reads those rambling tags#you should totally check out blank monk by chekhov#its short
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just look at how Cait softens when she saw Vi's bruised hand.
gif credits: @arcanegifs
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no i actually can’t stop thinking about how work song was such an insane song choice for the bobby Real Actual Death scene. my good friend hozier insists that no grave can hold his body down because he will crawl home to his love no matter what. and bobby is like that’s a good point hozier but the grave actually has a certain je ne sais quoi
#i feel like i’m reacting to everything that happened in 8b so late i’m only just now processing that scene. truly incredible#for some tv shows you could argue the song choices have nothing to do w the storyline but 911 is the most on the nose show ever.#this isn’t even really a negative thought i’m genuinely laughing thinking about it. what the hell sure#txt#911
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